The First Five Pages, by Noah Lukeman
Nearly every agent will request the first five pages of your manuscript with your query. And nearly every writing coach, editor, and well-meaning advice-giver out there will tell you that you have to whip those first five pages into amazing shape so you can win over an agent, then an editor, then the reading public one day. It makes sense that if those first five pages are all an agent is going to see of your book, they had better be pretty goddamn breathtaking.
The problem is, by obsessing over those five pages, writers cram every bit of creativity they have, every trick they know, every flowery turn of phrase into them in an attempt to really turn on the charm and wow their audience which, at this point, consists almost solely of indifferent agents and their snot-nosed little interns. And sometimes all of that pixie dust or edginess isn’t in keeping with the style, tone, or themes of the rest of the book.
So, now the author has given a facelift to the book, or padded its bra so to speak, to attract an agent and subsequently a reader, neglecting the tiny fact that it’s possibly misrepresenting what’s actually inside the novel.
Sure, one might say, those first pages are just about getting ones foot in the door. A book would never actually be published unless the rest of the manuscript was equally amazing, right?
Well…
We’ve all picked up that book where we read the first few pages (or the Amazon sample) and it seems interesting in the beginning. Then we buy it, take it home and really start reading. And lo and behold! it blows. The thing really sucks after those first five or so pages. We got duped, reeled in, suckered. Sure, the author made that intro chapter amazing, but wtf happened to the rest of the book? The quality or interest suddenly falls off a cliff. We either toss the book or suffer through to the end despite the false advertising.
Or sometimes the opposite happens. I’ve picked up books that had an interesting description on the flap, but then I started reading the opening chapter and realized: this author gave this book the old Michael Bay treatment, aka literary viagra. It puts me right off. I don’t want explosions (literal or metaphorical) in the intro because it makes me feel manipulated and condescended to, like the author thinks I’m a moron who can’t focus on a book unless there’s unrelenting action or snappy dialogue every second. Oh no! This dimwitted reader will put down this book if I don’t throw in some tits, fits, or grit!
Author, the (dis)respect is mutual.
And this is why I despise this method of choosing manuscripts, and why I despise this writing book. For your readers’ sake, don’t focus on your first five pages. Don’t obsess over your first line, trying to make it memorable.1 Don’t make any of it more amazing than the rest of your book, or design the beginning to grab anyone by the throat. Just write a consistent book, from beginning to end. Let me make a fair assessment of it from page one. Let me know what I’m getting into, and what I’m laying my money down for, from page one.
But that’s a minor problem compared to the real one, which is that when you invest so much importance in such a proportionately small thing as five pages of your entire novel, you’ll get too wrapped up in them to be able to see and read them objectively anymore. You’ll get too much inside your own head, and it will spoil the writing. It will spoil your whole book. That’s the poison a “how-to” book like this injects into your work. Never write for agents, editors, bookstore page-flippers, samplers, critics, or anyone else. Write for yourself. In the end, you’re the one who has to live with the choices you make in your work, so make them and own them. That’s what being a writer is.
How do I know this book gives terrible advice? Because I’m one of its victims. I rewrote my first five pages under the recommendation of agents, editors, and consultants with this kind of thinking in mind, and I hate them (the pages, not the editors :-) I’m still thinking about how to fix them so they don’t embarrass me. So, I’m sympathetic. I’m just warning other writers not to make the same mistakes I did. They’re harder to undo than you might imagine.
I can’t stand those agents who critique first lines. “Nope, not memorable in 100 years. I would reject this manuscript!” Bitch, you’re nobody and nothing you write or represent will be memorable in 100 years. Lighten up. I saw an agent doing a webinar thingy where she critiqued first lines like it was the deciding criteria for each of her manuscripts. Seriously? Get a new gimmick, lady. Then get some books people actually want to read—entire books, not just first lines.
New to your blog, but interested in hearing your thoughts on writing.
Can you recommend a book to NOT skip?
Preach! I love this. Good advice all around from you here. I just finished "The Idiot" by Dostoevsky. I didn't like the first several pages and almost put it down. Glad I didn't as it's now one of my favorite books.