Excellent and timely piece. Amazing that every nature program produced (I just watched "Our Universe" narrated by Morgan Freeman and it was fantastic) objectively portrays and celebrates the resilience of the animals they follow in the face of incredible adversity, but then everything about people, the very top of the food chain, the inheritors of the genes of the kings and queens of this struggle, has become melodramatic contest to find and celebrate the biggest victim. We need more headlines that read: Shut up and do the work.
“I get knocked down, but I get up again. You’re never gonna keep me down.” - Chumbawumba was the best motivation for me during my decade targeted by bullies in that viper’s nest. Now I’m a mom and I’m encouraging the same resilience in my kids while the teachers teach the opposite. It’s infuriating at times because your canoe example is spot on. Bemoaning the unfairness of things never gets you anywhere. Life can suck, but you need to pick yourself up and keep trying not sit and wait for a hand to save you.
Love this. I’m well acquainted with both ends of the spectrum personally and I can say with absolute confidence that self pity never did me any favors. My path to resilience was accountability for my decisions. We’re there outside, unfair reasons for why I made bad decisions? Definitely. Did it help me to hyper focus blame there? Nope. Accountability made me realize I was in control of my own life and that I was responsible for how things had turned out. It was painful and the absolute only way to turn my life around.
I also hate the perpetuation of victimhood, not because no one is a victim, but because it doesn’t help to see yourself as powerless. Meditations is also on my reading list. I’m trying to work on being a hothead and I’m hoping the stoically can help me 😂
This was a great essay. I totally agree with your assessment that we’re pushing people to be in a perpetual defensive crouch and its societally unhealthy and the end result will be nothing but more beached jellyfish. When it comes to arts and entertainment, the new stuff being peddled these days is about as diverting and edifying as a flaccid goat’s bladder waving in the wind. I haven’t owned a TV in 25 years, but during the pandemic my 30-something tech-savvy roommate wired up our crib with a flatscreen TV with cable access. We rapidly lost interest in about every show we were told we would love (including Star Trek: Discovery) and ended up binge-watching movies and series, almost all of which were over two decades old. Everything now has a “message” and the message is so poorly expressed and philosophically sophomoric that it feels like I’m being schooled on what it means to be an ethically grounded 50-year-old by a 20-year-old narcissistic hippie who just “gets it, man” because I couldn’t possibly have “gotten it” when I was his/her/their/xe’s/ze’s age. I’ve got so tired of kowtowing to that crap, that I intentionally front-loaded my current novel with a lovable barefoot, pregnant, unwed, obese, no-nonsense, devout Greek Orthodox peasant girl who’s one of the primary moral compasses of the tale.
What a great post. Loved every bit of this. Your writing encourages me to be more open and honest in my own writing. I know that’s off topic but I just had to thank you for this brilliant essay.
Writers exhibit high resiliency even if we aren’t aware of it. Mainly because it’s a huge step being open to judgement by others. Our writing is constantly under the microscope and when you subject yourself to criticism it can be tough to endure. But we do it anyway and we take the punches, and we learn and grow from the experiences.
Wow, I've learned so much from reading this post - and identified a lot of stuff that I clearly need to start working on.... Onwards and jolly well UPWARDS for me from now on! Such a great post!
Some elements of this are eternally true but the writer may have lost sight of another world view where unfortunately some animals are more equal than others. Ever grateful for the enduring genius of Orwell and other authors long gone. We should all beware of using our intellect to shore up unkind judgments where other people are concerned. 💕
Great article, J. M.! I agree, it feels like we’ve been in this weird race to the bottom for a very long time now. I too enjoy reading and writing strong characters that pull themselves up by their bootstraps, so to speak, and face adversity head on.
“Because I don’t believe any group owns the right to language or images, and don’t think it wise to allow the agendas of others to define us or dictate our behavior, I reject this attempt at “coding” and will use these terms how I see fit.”
Brilliant. I agree wholeheartedly. And: I, too, cancelled my NYT subscription. It just got too damn overtly, blatantly ideological and biased. Enough already.
Millennials (my generation) and Gen Z really need to Grow a Pair.
Excellent and timely piece. Amazing that every nature program produced (I just watched "Our Universe" narrated by Morgan Freeman and it was fantastic) objectively portrays and celebrates the resilience of the animals they follow in the face of incredible adversity, but then everything about people, the very top of the food chain, the inheritors of the genes of the kings and queens of this struggle, has become melodramatic contest to find and celebrate the biggest victim. We need more headlines that read: Shut up and do the work.
“I get knocked down, but I get up again. You’re never gonna keep me down.” - Chumbawumba was the best motivation for me during my decade targeted by bullies in that viper’s nest. Now I’m a mom and I’m encouraging the same resilience in my kids while the teachers teach the opposite. It’s infuriating at times because your canoe example is spot on. Bemoaning the unfairness of things never gets you anywhere. Life can suck, but you need to pick yourself up and keep trying not sit and wait for a hand to save you.
Love this. I’m well acquainted with both ends of the spectrum personally and I can say with absolute confidence that self pity never did me any favors. My path to resilience was accountability for my decisions. We’re there outside, unfair reasons for why I made bad decisions? Definitely. Did it help me to hyper focus blame there? Nope. Accountability made me realize I was in control of my own life and that I was responsible for how things had turned out. It was painful and the absolute only way to turn my life around.
I also hate the perpetuation of victimhood, not because no one is a victim, but because it doesn’t help to see yourself as powerless. Meditations is also on my reading list. I’m trying to work on being a hothead and I’m hoping the stoically can help me 😂
This was a great essay. I totally agree with your assessment that we’re pushing people to be in a perpetual defensive crouch and its societally unhealthy and the end result will be nothing but more beached jellyfish. When it comes to arts and entertainment, the new stuff being peddled these days is about as diverting and edifying as a flaccid goat’s bladder waving in the wind. I haven’t owned a TV in 25 years, but during the pandemic my 30-something tech-savvy roommate wired up our crib with a flatscreen TV with cable access. We rapidly lost interest in about every show we were told we would love (including Star Trek: Discovery) and ended up binge-watching movies and series, almost all of which were over two decades old. Everything now has a “message” and the message is so poorly expressed and philosophically sophomoric that it feels like I’m being schooled on what it means to be an ethically grounded 50-year-old by a 20-year-old narcissistic hippie who just “gets it, man” because I couldn’t possibly have “gotten it” when I was his/her/their/xe’s/ze’s age. I’ve got so tired of kowtowing to that crap, that I intentionally front-loaded my current novel with a lovable barefoot, pregnant, unwed, obese, no-nonsense, devout Greek Orthodox peasant girl who’s one of the primary moral compasses of the tale.
What a great post. Loved every bit of this. Your writing encourages me to be more open and honest in my own writing. I know that’s off topic but I just had to thank you for this brilliant essay.
Writers exhibit high resiliency even if we aren’t aware of it. Mainly because it’s a huge step being open to judgement by others. Our writing is constantly under the microscope and when you subject yourself to criticism it can be tough to endure. But we do it anyway and we take the punches, and we learn and grow from the experiences.
Wow, I've learned so much from reading this post - and identified a lot of stuff that I clearly need to start working on.... Onwards and jolly well UPWARDS for me from now on! Such a great post!
Some elements of this are eternally true but the writer may have lost sight of another world view where unfortunately some animals are more equal than others. Ever grateful for the enduring genius of Orwell and other authors long gone. We should all beware of using our intellect to shore up unkind judgments where other people are concerned. 💕
Great article, J. M.! I agree, it feels like we’ve been in this weird race to the bottom for a very long time now. I too enjoy reading and writing strong characters that pull themselves up by their bootstraps, so to speak, and face adversity head on.
“Because I don’t believe any group owns the right to language or images, and don’t think it wise to allow the agendas of others to define us or dictate our behavior, I reject this attempt at “coding” and will use these terms how I see fit.”
Brilliant. I agree wholeheartedly. And: I, too, cancelled my NYT subscription. It just got too damn overtly, blatantly ideological and biased. Enough already.
Millennials (my generation) and Gen Z really need to Grow a Pair.
Michael Mohr
‘Sincere American Writing’
https://michaelmohr.substack.com/