24 Comments

Gosh, this is such a fascinating analysis - and your concluding paragraph took my breath away!

I loved this question: "Do we always sincerely like the works of this artist or that band, or do they project something about the person we wish to be perceived as, the status we aspire to?". It got me thinking back to my first week at university when I was trying to fit in, when I insisted to a bunch of new folks I'd met that I thought the Red Hot Chili Peppers were amazing..... just because of a poster I'd seen on somebody's dorm wall. 😳 (I'd never even heard of them.)

I'm happy to have grown out of that phase. I'm glad to be a more authentic version of myself now - I speak and write my own self. Well, I try!

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I’ve read and re-read this post four times now. I think it’s one of my favorite essays you’ve written. It so clearly expresses what I’ve been trying to verbalize for awhile.

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😂 straight into my top ten classic old-timey expressions alongside: don’t piss down my back and tell me it’s raining.

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Been struggling all Lent to verbally encapsulate my spiritual experiences, Jacquie. Then, there it was on the digital page above: keeping the shit at shoe level. Appreciate it runs counter to the spirit of the article but, mind if I steal that one?

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This could be the entire philosophy of my life. As I got older I finally learned to ask do I really desire a particular thing or do I merely desire the idea of that thing? The idea is usually false, and driven by all of those external influences. The thing itself is much more elusive, but so much more satisfying.

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Apr 15, 2023Liked by J. M. Elliott

I knew you would write this topic well. It’s a hard one to read because it rings so true. Mimicry is rewarded by the masses. I just read a blip about how design aesthetics are all boiling down to one or two fashions. Gray floors abound. White walls and minimalism. The result of a Pinterest Instagram world where style is copied again and again until every house you enter looks the same.

I remember realizing this trap when it came to my spending habits. What I wanted to buy was sold to me. I bought a backpack because it made me feel like I would start hiking if I did. Only to have it sit there in the closet while I proceeded to do none of it. But buying it made me feel like I was a person who backpacked and often. Crazy!

That little insight has helped me not only save money, but to challenge myself to live the life. Walk the talk so to speak. You admire this person who climbs mountains? Then do the freaking work and climb the mountain. Don’t just hang out in REI buying hiking shoes you don’t use. You want to be a write? Stop talking like a writer and write. Just do the damn thing. The inner passion driving instead of the vanity.

Thank you for writing this. It puts to words so many lessons I’ve learned and am continually learning, especially as I navigate social media.

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This is such a powerful essay with so many layers to peel back and examine, which you did with incredible precision.

I want to read more of Girard's work now. I'm not sure when I'll find the time, but I'll add them to the list, especially Deceit, Desire, and the Novel. I'm beginning to think that I've never had an original thought in my life lol.

Just kidding...kind of. It's scary to think that I'm not my own person, but at the same time, there's no way to thrive in a vacuum. We have to borrow from everything as it's the quickest way to learn efficiently, even from an evolutionary standpoint, or more aptly represented in the growing child observing the world around them. It's part of our biological programming. Companies and "influencers" have tapped into it and exploited it to the greatest effect.

I guess there's another element to this that I've been thinking about for awhile now and that is "lead by example", or what I'm tentatively terming "positive overflow". Great leaders don't necessarily need to say what it is they are doing correctly, it's proven by the results they've achieved. It's more along the lines of doing the right thing even when no one is watching (because usually someone still is). Living the ideals as you know them to be true, indifferent to the pressure from society. Maybe I'm conflating several things in this paragraph, but it ultimately stems from how some people can influence others without ever saying a word. I'm thinking of Keanu Reeves carrying film studio luggage up the stairs to help workers on set get ready to start their day. Maybe he knew someone would photograph him, maybe not. But he did it, and the story around that is more powerful than him saying "Hey, I like to help my coworkers on set because I'm a nice guy, and you should too."

You've given me a lot to think about, Jacquie. Great essay and thanks for the shoutout. These types of discussions help shape my worldview by posing ideas and questions regarding things I have trouble distilling into digestible concepts. This mimetic topic was so well encapsulated here. Thank you!

P.S. I love the Seinfeld clip you shared. So perfect!

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Regarding indifference, I immediately thought of Oscar Wilde: There is only one thing worse than being talked about, and that is NOT being talked about.

A really helpful and interesting introduction to Girard, thank you

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