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This is such a wonderful chapter on so many levels. The ritualistic description of the sacrifice of the prisoners is chilling but so authentic. I’ve read my share of Classical and Medieval history, and it’s just spot on. There’s a famous episode in Byzantine history in which the Bulgars or Alans were defeated and all of them were tied up and blinded, except for one of each chain-gang of seven who was left with one eye to lead the train.

I really liked this passage (even more so because it’s expressed by a female warrior):

“They moaned incessantly and wept, and I began to question what sort of men they were. My meager pity soon gave way to contempt. After all, it was they who sought this war. Now they tasted suffering they had hoped to visit upon us and found it too bitter to swallow. “

Although it’s a bit unrelated and discursive, the passage reminded me (for some reason) of a chapter I read in Kissinger’s “Diplomacy” in which he talks about how states tend to get involved in conflicts (like Vietnam) and then later allege that the reason they’re still involved in the conflict (once it turns into a quagmire) is “to ensure our troops are protected,” when it was the state’s decision to put the soldiers in harm’s way in the first place that led to the soldiers being exposed to dangers the state now claims it’s endeavoring to protect them from.

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From a formatting angle, I’m pretty sure this is just a Substack app issue, but every time the poetry quote is used, it makes the paragraph after the quote run flush against the last line of the quote. I’ve tried to game this several times, but the only solution I’ve come up with is to insert a line break after the poetry line quoted to signal that the prose section is resuming, but I don’t like it.

In the examples below the preceding line of poetry is immediately followed by the subsequent paragraph:

Thus did Manu cause the world to be created when he bound Yama as the sacrifice.’ 

******<— There’s no break here in the Substack app view

“With this, the proper order came to be, as the first sovereign’s many powers were portioned out amongst his corresponding parts:

‘The priest was from his head and mouth; the warrior from his heart and arms; the commoner from his loins and feet.’

Thus, I free this being to inhabit all the realms.” 

****** <— There’s no break here in the Substack app view

Then he cut the prisoner’s throat over the vessel. This he took by the red-painted handles, once filled to its brim, and carried it atop the platform. There, he poured the blood over the upturned blade of the sword. One by one, the serene priest led the chosen prisoners into the enclosure to bow with their necks over the blood-soaked vessel and be sacrificed. 

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Separately, I had an idea about the formatting for this section that I wanted to run by you. Since the priest is speaking and reciting verses, I’m wondering if, instead of using single quotes to offset the quoted scripture, it might look clearer to simply put the quoted scripture in italics and use double quotes at the beginning of the stanza/verse and each paragraph to let the reader know that he’s still the one speaking but is citing scripture at this point? It’s really an interesting dilemma and I can’t find anything in the Chicago Manual of Style that fits with this situation, but I was thinking of other works, like “Moby Dick” where father Mapple is giving his fire and brimstone sermon and tends to quote the KJV of the story of Noah from the Bible. I think the scripture gets italicized when it’s quoted like that in a bigger paragraph. Do you know what I mean? Like when a character quotes something (Shakespeare, the Bible) in a stretch of dialogue but doesn’t bother to tell where it’s from.

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Thank you, Daniel :-) Wow, I never heard that stuff about the Byzantines and blinding prisoners, but it is pretty gruesome. There is something in Herodotus about Scythians blinding the slaves or servants who beat their kumiss, but some people think it is a misunderstanding or mistranslation because it doesn't make a lot of sense. But, then again, there are these weird incidents from the past that make you think, sure, that could have happened... some chief got pissed off and poked out some enemy eyeballs to make a point :-(

I liked hardening Ana's sympathies toward the end of her ordeal. That seemed natural. We were always taught that you don't dish it out if you can't take it ;-) To your point about getting into conflicts, I sometimes scratch my head when I see interviews or read accounts from soldiers who, when asked what they're fighting for, say the other men fighting beside them. It may be true on a human level, but it also seems like the thing can become self-perpetuating.

I looked at the post in the app and I see what you mean. That doesn't work like that at all. It doesn't do that in the browser, but I like the idea of the italics anyway. I think they lend weight to the verses and also signal that it's not necessarily original to the story (I did modify the translation quite a bit to suit my needs, but its still based on a real text.) I'll play with it. Thanks again!

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